


Dedicated To Stanley

by Valentine20xx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Harry Potter The Game, or maybe not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 04:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20076046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valentine20xx/pseuds/Valentine20xx
Summary: Harry Potter has saved the Wizarding World. Now he can go back, and hopefully do oh so much better!Well, there were all those mistakes he made, terrible ones. The wrong people died, and all that...Of course, he's sure to want to save them. Isn't he?





	Dedicated To Stanley

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Harry Potter © J. K. Rowling, and is used without permission. Portions of the concept © Davey Wreden.
> 
> The title has a good reason for itself. This is intended partially as a deconstructive parody of a certain genre of story. If you can't figure it out from the title and the copyright, You might need to brush up on your obscure, but fun, bits of pop culture.

_Harry Had Won. He had defeated Voldemort at the eleventh hour. With Voldemort gone, Harry felt he could now help to make a difference within the wizarding world..._

Harry felt himself becoming some kind of disembodied entity, watching what seemed to be his parents walking into the famous platform, oddly with several children with them. When they met what looked like a young Lucius Malfoy with no antagonism, he was even more confused. When they met with Ron and Hermione, awful, dawning realisation hit. That wasn’t his parents, that was him and Ginny, with him inexplicably restarting the relationship he’d broken off with her.

“Excuse me, but show me how I’m making a difference,” Harry declared, moving to stand next to Draco in the tableau as the sequence ground to a screeching halt, “First, what is _he_ doing here, not serving a few decades in Azkaban for his part in killing Dumbledore? His father was the right hand man and primary financial backer of Voldemort’s campaigns...”

“_It’s simple. The Malfoys were aware of the risks they were in, and, before the second Wizarding War began, defected from Voldemort’s side..._” The narrator declared, “_So, while he was a terror during your school years, you’ve forgiven him, and he’s now one of the best wands the Auror Department has,”_

Harry rubbed his temples. “So, they bought the Ministry, and got themselves a few decades of safety by throwing themselves on the mercy of the Ministry, which was already subverted up and down the line,” Harry declared, then gestured to Ron and Hermione, “And I’d expect to see Ron with Lavender, for how much he was with her. I _broke up_ with Ginny! For fuck’s sakes, I thought it was my parents at first!”

"_You fell in love with Ginny Weasley in your sixth year, and after the end of the war..._" The voice began, Harry glaring.

“I barely knew her. I knew Hermione...” Harry stated, “The only thing I’m thinking about with Ginny is if she got a mind healer for horcrux exposure in second year...”

“_There was no need for such expensive treatment..._” The Narrator continued, “_Now, let me get back to work...”_

The supposed epilogue continued, Harry blinking owlishly as he listened carefully to what people were saying. As Ron joked about tricking a 'muggle' to pass his driving test, Harry facepalmed. This was not a victory for the common wizard or even magical Britain. It was a victory for the Purebloods, earned off the backs of the ‘lesser’ magicals. The major players in the rise of Voldemort got away by leaving his side before they could be considered his followers, while they continued to treat muggles like a fun lark to play tricks on. _Nothing_ had changed.

'**Congratulations! You have achieved the Ending 'One Big Happy Weasley Family'! Thanks to your sterling efforts, the downtrodden Weasley Family will be at the forefront of a new magical world, helping shape things to come. You even helped your best mate score Hermione, what a trooper!**’The voice finally announced as the vision ended, before noticing Harry's scowl, "_What's wrong with that ending?_"

"How the hell is that a 'good' ending? Where's the reforms? Where's the helping of muggleborns and halfbloods to avoid the kind of crap that decimated the wizarding world worse than ever, due to people like Umbridge? Where’s the attempts to avoid the Purebloods rallying behind someone else to exterminate the muggle element?!" Harry declared, "No, I didn't do anything as great as that. Instead, my big shining achievement is that I gave Dumbledore's good friends a nice big injection of capital, improved their standing and gave a guy who was only my best mate since I had no other friends for years someone to be bigoted about..."

There was a sound like a record needle scratch.

“_Let me tell you something. You’re nothing. You’re not meant to ‘help the muggleborns’ or ‘reform the wizarding world’..._” The voice snapped, “_You’re just the son of a son of Mr. Sleekeasy.__ That’s right. All your claim to titles and suchlike are nothing… The best you can do is accept Ginny’s long-held belief that you’re the Boy-Who-Lived, and give your surrogate family all the support you can...”_

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Harry snapped, “Sirius showed me Charlus’ name on the tapestry, named me his heir...”

“_Sirius was disinherited, and Charlus was not the right Potter family,_” The voice continued, “_The Black line was dissolved into the Malfoy line..._”

“Wait, Wait, Wait… The Malfoys get a huge injection of capital off my _godfather’s family_, while you’re basically saying any inheritance I had coming to me… is gone?” Harry stated, “So, Why act like I’m some hugely important person?”

“_Narrative issues… Patch came in mid-release, ton of fixes to your backstory..._” The voice stated, “_Meant to encourage you to rely on the older generation to solve the problems...”_

"The same 'older generation' who caused all this mess in the first place?!" Harry snapped, "Clearly they know what they're doing. So, who ended up the Dark Lord after Voldemort?"

"_I highly doubt that there will be another Dark Lord..._" The voice scoffed, "_The people who should be in power are in power, and those who should keep their nose out of that kind of business aren't,_"

"So, The purebloods continue to gain power, meanwhile my whole purpose for existing was to stroke Ginny's ego and be some champion for the causes of 'blood traitors' like the Weasleys, while continuing to ignore the inequality of the world around me, because, hey, I'm apparently just like them, yet another wizard who should just ignore the crap and enjoy the magic?" Harry sighed, "Never mind… What benefits are there to being such a good friend to the Weasleys, and accepting I have no legacy of my own?"

A list of various items appeared in the space in front of him. He then noticed a pattern to them. Things like his family owning a 25% share in the Chudley Cannons or Holyhead Harpies, or being former board members at Nimbus Broom Company. The vast majority of them were heavily geared towards things like Quidditch, which would help his standing with Ron or Oliver Wood, but not help one bit with befriending someone like Luna or Hermione, or being anything but a dyed-in-the-wool Gryffindor.

He looked through the list for something like 'Lily's Old Potions Book' or other items which would be good for handling Snape or making allies with the other Heads Of Houses. Nope, This 'benefits' list would make him, again, practically a non-redheaded stepchild of Molly Weasley.

"I said BENEFITS! This will just ensure that, when the time comes, I end up with practically the same ending!" Harry snapped, "What's so good about owning a 25% share in the Chudley Cannons unless I want to show I support Ron's team? What about something like finding my mother's potions book so I can curb Snape's attitude, or some other keepsakes of my parents? These ensure I'll always be the 'best friend' of the Weasleys. No-one else."

“_The only other option would give you the Black connection, and make you the grandson of Charlus Potter, even a potions book of Lily’s. Of course, you’d need to be a Slytherin to take advantage of it, but those are the breaks._” The voice offered, “_And anyway, those are extremely beneficial for the Gryffindor storyline, Redeeming Snape is the Slytherin path! Now, choose your perks, and we’ll get on with it...”_

Harry couldn’t believe it. If he wanted the prestige and lineage of a Pureblood, he’d end up a Slytherin, and likely following the damn rhetoric… while the Gryffindor path was to be the Weasley family’s newest member. Harry felt his temper rise at how much the voice was increasingly sounding like Dumbledore, while looking at the perks list, pausing as he noticed something about one of them, namely the allowance to save his game freely.

"Checkpoint Saving (Locked): You achieved the victory conditions 'Supporting The Weasley Bottom Line' or ‘Accepting Draco’s Offer’, 'Dumbledore's Martyr' and 'The Pureblood's Hero' in the same session..." Harry read, "What are these victory conditions?"

"_OK, The first one is to only befriend and support the Weasley Family __or_ _Malfoy Family __throughout all seven years,_" The voice stated, "_It was recently patched to allow Dumbledore __or Snape respectively__, but your friendship with Hermione in your first year, and your later good friendships with Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom cancelled out that victory condition completely,_"

Harry rubbed his temples. This was not how he wanted to live his life, effectively choosing between Ron or Draco, but apparently, to save his game, an essential part of playing it, he had to do it?!?

"Honest question... Was Hermione meant to die in First Year?" Harry asked

"_Why do you think the troll was in the wrong place?_" The voice snapped, "_One less muggleborn... Anyway, If she dies in First Year, no problems with her getting in the way of supporting Ron! __Hell, Draco would really appreciate it as well!_"

Harry seethed. While he didn't mind too much some of this voice's attitude, he was beginning to talk more and more like Dolores Umbridge...

"So, I just follow Ron around and do what he wants, accept Molly's forceful attempts to make me her step-son… Or, If I don’t want that, accept my standing as a Pureblood and allow Draco to guide me into being Voldemort’s path into exterminating the muggleborns..." Harry growled, "OK, Next one?"

"_We'll be fixing that one due to a bug that developed… You must ensure that Dumbledore survives till the end of 7th Year, and help destroy all the horcruxes, so, during the final battle, you are killed, destroying the last horcrux, and the prophecy is fulfilled. Neither survives,_" The voice declared, adding in a lower tone, "_The original version allowed you to be resurrected in the unlikely event Dumbledore is assassinated in 6th Year, abusing the 'One Shall Live...' clause. The patch will ensure the Death Curse works correctly in that situation. __Apparently, You had a instant immunity flag that kept tripping,_"

"Oh great, so I have to challenge Voldemort and throw myself in front of him to get the last horcrux killed, so Dumbledore becomes a hero..." Harry snarked, "And the last one?"

"_Ah yes, __That’s why most of the major perks are on the Slytherin path.__ You broke that a few times. While it might not be nice to do so, you don't try to break up the Pureblood rhetoric,_" The voice stated, "_Yes, Your godfather might end up spending life in prison, and Dumbledore will certainly need that victory against Voldemort at the end, but if the Ministry is happy, you're doing your job right..._"

"So, Unless I'm some dyed-in-the-wool pureblood bigot who gives Dumbledore another notch on his belt and elevates the Weasleys to nobility, What am I meant to do if I get killed and have to start over?" Harry asked.

"_Except in the final battle, die of course..._" The voice offered, "_Well, why should you be anything other than the __man who stands between Ron and Draco and picks a side__?_"

Harry now really was thinking this disembodied voice was like Dumbledore or Snape.

'Keep your head down, Don't change anything, Do what I say, nothing more, and trust the Weasleys,' Harry thought to himself, 'He's literally spouting Dumbledore's rhetoric...'

"I'd almost think you were ransoming key features just to make sure I'm as disgusting and shallow a person as possible..." Harry snapped, "Sorry, Not happening..."

"_How untrue! Why would I do that?_" The voice continued, but Harry had already turned around and left, leaving the blinking prompt for 'New Game' waiting for him to return.

"_He'll be back..._" The voice sighed, "_He's not yet finished the game properly!_"

He never did come back.

**Author's Note:**

> No, I'm not doing another chapter. Ever.
> 
> This is it. The entire story. Admittedly, would YOU want to do a Harry Potter video game where the idea is to be as bigoted and small-minded as possible?
> 
> Amended October 2019 -  
Added a few references to how JKR actively sabotaged Harry's back story.


End file.
